Generally speaking, I don't get nervous before a show. The exceptions are my own work, or shows that I'm responsible for. When we staged I Remember at the Leverhulme Festival I was pretty nervous bouncing around the stage like a mad man just before the curtain went up. As it turns out my nerves were justified. During the performance the sound completely failed and I was left sitting on a sofa with nothing but a soft toy as a prop. Having felt the lights go up just as the sound cut out I panicked. Apparently it didn't show, but the panic was there all the same. Out of one corner of my eye, I could see a manic scene being played out in the stage manager's corner. Our stage tech was on cans trying to find out what had happened. My friend and fellow actor, Ian Nenna was in the wings trying to work out if he should disregard his cue and step on stage all the same. I spent what felt like ten minutes sitting there with this stupid plush cow in my hands prentending to be sad before I walked off stage. I would later find out that as I did this Ian was about to come onto the stage. In the words of others, when I reached the other wing I began to signal to those in the other wings trying desperately just to get Ian to come on stage. Ahh theatre, I do so love you!
This was not only my production but my script and my first attempt at putting a play on. Actually, the pulling the play together was pretty simple (once I'd roped in a cast). My nerves before the show were more about whether people would like my writing or if I was going to be absolute crap. Technical failures aside, I'm fairly sure it was an okay play. Even the technical faults were forgiven and I was consoled with many times the following week.
Nerves about my own work aside, I don't generally get panicky or worried or nervous about most shows. The shows can be going disastrously and I'll still plod along regardless. I'll add here, that it's not because I don't care about the show. I do. It's because usually I know that the show will go ahead and the show will work. Experience has taught me that the show has to go ahead. So, if the show is going to go ahead anyway there isn't much point worrying.
There is a point though where I'm in the middle of the day and it just hits me in my gut. I know that the show will work. I know that the show is shaping up and will go ahead. It's an ineffable feeling, but it always comes. Usually at the half way point of rehearsals I just know.
It may seem odd, but I don't ever get that feeling with work that I'm responsible for. With Dickens, Drood and the best of tomes I got so nervous about the administrative aspects of the show that my hands were shaking. In fact they were shaking so much that I couldn't tie my bow tie. When acting though, there's no reason for nerves. Your fellow cast will do the best they can and you'll do the best you can. You can't ask more. Everything else? Well, that's in the hands of Thespis.
No comments:
Post a Comment